TONIGHT IN HELL

   I want to stay focused with this blog. It is about the reclamation of WSSP as art. But as we all know, art can be boring. So, as much as I hate my neighbors, they do open the door for me to talk about other issues. Their insidious, Satanic slant, wrapped in the banality of a hillbilly love pentagram gets me to wondering just what goes on in Hell? Here's what I think.

   I think Hell is 24/7 of Johnny Carson's TONIGHT SHOW. And since Johnny died he's been on his own down there. At first the Devil was totally excited to get such a big talent sitting behind the desk and paired him up with Sadam. Sadam was mean, overbearing and waaaay too pushy as a second fiddle. Even the Illuminati were tuning out (even though it is the only thing on). Everything changed last week. With the death of Ed McMann, Hell became a happening place once again. Even before Ed drew his last breath, he had lined up Farrah. But no one suspected what a line up Ed was putting together.

   In the green room sits David Caradine, Billy Mays and Karl Malden. There's a chair with Courtney Love's name taped to the back. But no one knows if she'll show. Johnny's monologue is sharp and his imaginary golf club is smacking them into Satan's many assholes. All the Popes are cheering and the child molesters, in the nose bleed seats, are bent over with belly laughs. Ed smiles knowingly. He's got a surprise for Johnny....AND the molesters. "I've brought someone special with me." Ed teases Johnny. Johnny looks frightened. Ed reassures him no ex-wives. Johnny wipes his brow and mugs for the camera. Then, in that booming signature voice, Ed lets the cat out of the bag. "HEEEEEERRRREEEE'S MICHAEL!" And in moonwalks Michael Jackson. The place goes nuts. A volcano erupts in Hawaii.

    When the show's over....not really.....it's never over, Johnny leans back in his chair and asks Ed how he'll top this? Ed winks slyly. " Does the name Madoff ring a bell? HEY-OOOOOoo." Stay tuned.